Tag Archives: Twitter

The Offending Party Likes: “Your Highness”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

NSFW – maybe I should have put this warning above the video. Whatever.

Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down) and David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) are acquired tastes, but if you’ve acquired said tastes, this is right up your alley. Bonus: Natalie Portman’s butt. I’m not sure it’s humanly possible to do a better job selling this movie than those three words. Well, the song from Pineapple‘s trailer could have helped…

M.I.A. makes everything better (1:14 or so).

P.S. The Offending Party is on the Twitter. Follow if you like but I really just retweet things I find funny, like this one: “Tom Brady:Hair::Harrison Ford:Earring.” I love Baby Goat, but the truth stings sometimes. I also love analogies.

P.P.S.

Monday Evening Football – 10/18

Football

I learned a valuable lesson this weekend: if I pick against the Longhorns and say silly things like this, they will win. Therefore – Texas is going to lose every single game they play from here on out. Actually, they will be embarrassed by every team they play for the rest of the season.

In other college football news, Boise State was done in by their weak schedule and are ranked #3 in the inaugural BCS standings, behind Oklahoma and Oregon. Notre Dame beat Western Michigan, as expected. Michigan State remained undefeated. And N.C. State went to little ol’ Greenville, NC and then lost to ECU in overtime, 33-27. As a friend of mine said: “typical State football.”

The Patriots escaped from Foxborough with a 23-20 OT win against the arguably better team, the Ravens. All hail Zoltan Mesko and his super-human leg! Stupid Dallas managed to lose another game and they sit all by themselves in the cellar of the NFC East. I don’t feel one ounce of sorry for them – Wade Phillips is about as good an NFL coach as my 4 1/2 year-old nephew would be. Unfortunately the Jets won. If they’re still leading the AFC East by the middle of the season, Rex Ryan goes on the Offended List as a matter of principle.

Movies

Jackass 3D made $50.3 million over the weekend, which is the best October opening for any movie, ever. I was going to say something snotty and pretentious about this, but then I read this:

Stupid people tend to forget that film didn’t start as a narrative medium.  The first things people saw in theaters weren’t stories, it was “hey look, a big train coming at your face!”  That is to say, it was a spectacle. So if you’re one of those people who can look at a guy willing to get run over by a buffalo for your amusement with a frown on your face and your arms folded, it doesn’t make you some great defender of a grand tradition, it just makes you an *sshole (via Filmdrunk)

A good point, but I’m so good at being an asshole I still want to hate Jackass 3D and what its box office total says about movie-watchers: we’re stupid and easily distracted, like a baby playing with a set of keys. I just don’t think this film’s success bodes well for film in general going forward. Hollywood-types are as dumb as concrete blocks – they’ll see the success of Jackass 3D and copy it, possibly even frame-by-frame, meaning the clones of this movie should be in theaters around this time next year. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

OK, fine, I’ll get off my soapbox. RED made a respectable $21.7 million – I did not see it but plan to this week. The only other film to debut in the top 20 was something called N-Secure and it made $1.16 million. I don’t know what that is and I’m too lazy to look it up. Although Tempestt Bledsoe is in it, so the film’s got that going for it…

Miscellaneous

I will maul whoever put this pink collar on me.

  • The Onion A.V. Club has an excellent interview with the producer/show-runner from Rubicon. I thought the series felt different after the first 4 or 5 episodes – having the guy who created the show leave will do that.
  • This will make you laugh – I promise (via Ebert):

SUPER MEGA FUN POST!

I am lazy and I am pressed for time. Therefore, one post with a bit of everything. And before I forget, I may or may not be tweeting during tonight’s Patriots v. Dolphins game. If I am you should follow me because I’m sleep-deprived and a little cranky. Should be entertaining… for you, for once.

Football

Another rather unpleasant Saturday for The Offending Party. Notre Dame did manage to beat Boston College to improve to 2-3. N.C. State decided to stop playing defense in the second half of their game against Virginia Tech, which they lost 41-30. The ‘Horns gave it their best shot against the got-dammed Sooners, but to no avail (I think either I picked the wrong season to become a Longhorns fan, or Texas is trying to tell me they neither need nor want my fandom). Boise State beat whatever scrub team they played 59-0 and still fell in the polls. Because there’s a conspiracy in college football to keep non-major conference teams out of the national championship, you see. Finally, Duke lost to Maryland because Duke is f*cking horrible.

Box Office

That The Social Network made $22.4 million over the weekend is not a surprise; that Let Me In only made $5.1 million (less than that Zellweger piece o’ shit Case 39!) is a surprise. I guess no one wanted to see Hit Girl feed on humans.

Out of Control Fans of Literature

I don’t know where Jonathan Franzen happened to be when this happened to him, but WTF? I bet it was Canada – they have this staid and polite reputation, but have you seen them drink?

The New Pornographers

Catchy songs, Neko Case and a band name that gets their shows canceled (seriously). Check, check and check. Enjoy:

“We talkin’ ’bout practice.”

That lovely quote from Mr. Allen Iverson has nothing to do with the links below. Absolutely nothing. And because it’s Saturday I’ve included articles on gun violence and something called the “carried interest” tax. I don’t want your brains to be mush come Monday morning…

  • Three of the four states I’ve lived in are on this list of 10 states from which about half of all guns recovered from crime scenes originate. Thanks, Economist!
  • Matt Taibbi (a personal favorite of The Offending Party) discusses the “carried interest” tax, our Congress’ incompetence and why Reagan was cooler than you think.
  • I posted about Twitter a couple days back and neglected to mention the surprising productivity and general awesomeness of Roger Ebert. Yeah, he posts about 5 movie reviews a week, but that really is just the beginning.
  • ABC’s My Generation got canceled. According to the critics, this show being televised resembled my attempt at baking a pie: neither should have been allowed to happen.
  • Finally, I am still upset with Gorillaz. And to make it up to you, I have posted two other damn catchy songs for your weekend consumption:

If that video doesn’t convince you that Chris Walken is almost too cool for words, I’m not sure there’s any hope for you. Sorry.

Twitter is Not Bad

Twitter logo initial

Image via Wikipedia

I meant to throw this at the end of the previous post but forgot, so I’ll stretch it out into its own post. I sincerely hope that real journalists and writers aren’t nearly as lazy and care-free as The Offending Party. Either way, I won’t lose any sleep over it.

The Offending Party is on Twitter, but that’s not why I’m writing this (you can follow me if you want, but all you’re going to see are my lame and embarrassing attempts to get Gillian Jacobs to respond to me). Instead, I come to you extolling the virtues of Twitter as a news source and fountain of entertainment. Follow the right people and organizations and your Twitter homepage becomes both a customizable news ticker and a place to easily rip off a joke or two. I haven’t done the latter (yet), but I’ve been tempted. (“Maybe you should – you’d be funnier that way!” said the imaginary critic in my brain who resembles Andy Richter and deserves a kick to the ‘nads regardless of the accuracy of his comment.)

For example, in the past 10 minutes I’ve learned that the U.S. has approved additional sanctions against Iran, that there’s a new trailer on-line for the movie I Am Number Four, and that Stephen Colbert anthropomorphizes his paper clips. Sweet! And as an added bonus, I got to follow Patton Oswalt’s series of tweets last night describing a crazy hotel guest in Irvine. God bless the internet.

Reward time!

“Opulence. I has it.”

Alright, people who read this blog… I have a lot to get to, but first things first: y’all need a nickname. I like Offenders, but could be persuaded to choose Accessories (like to a murder, in keeping with the vague legalese of the blog name, not like cuff links or hat pins). More on this later… or never. Probably never.

Television

  • The Event (NBC, 9:00 PM EST) is on tonight and according to some critics it gets better in the next few episodes. And by better, they mean all the weird things that make the show interesting will be explained. I realize that a fine line exists between revealing too much and having viewers lose interest, and revealing too little and having viewers lose interest, but the show just started – tonight is the 2nd episode. Or maybe I’m in the minority here – I love Rubicon and it’s been criticized for moving too slowly. Stupid character development and interesting, relevant sub-plots.
  • I will not be watching The Event live, however; that honor now belongs to Lonestar (Fox, 9:00 PM EST) now that I’ve read that show’s creator’s blog. The pilot is on Hulu, so you too can catch up, if necessary.
  • If you watched any football this weekend, you saw this ad. And it’s not new – but I’m a little bit in love with it:

Random Thoughts

  • Another Twitter feed is being turned into a TV show. And Ashton Kutcher is producing. Most of the words in the previous two sentences make me want to scream.
  • The Boston Red Sox were effectively eliminated from the wild card race last night, thanks in no small part to Jonathan Papelbon, the (rumored) cause of several hundred heart attacks in New England this year. Theo: take that $7 million and use it for a better player, please.
  • Unintentionally funny ad for ringtones for business people – also for people who don’t speak, look awkwardly at cameras and duct tape over the logos of their laptops. (Via.)