Tag Archives: Movies

Twitter is Not Bad

Twitter logo initial

Image via Wikipedia

I meant to throw this at the end of the previous post but forgot, so I’ll stretch it out into its own post. I sincerely hope that real journalists and writers aren’t nearly as lazy and care-free as The Offending Party. Either way, I won’t lose any sleep over it.

The Offending Party is on Twitter, but that’s not why I’m writing this (you can follow me if you want, but all you’re going to see are my lame and embarrassing attempts to get Gillian Jacobs to respond to me). Instead, I come to you extolling the virtues of Twitter as a news source and fountain of entertainment. Follow the right people and organizations and your Twitter homepage becomes both a customizable news ticker and a place to easily rip off a joke or two. I haven’t done the latter (yet), but I’ve been tempted. (“Maybe you should – you’d be funnier that way!” said the imaginary critic in my brain who resembles Andy Richter and deserves a kick to the ‘nads regardless of the accuracy of his comment.)

For example, in the past 10 minutes I’ve learned that the U.S. has approved additional sanctions against Iran, that there’s a new trailer on-line for the movie I Am Number Four, and that Stephen Colbert anthropomorphizes his paper clips. Sweet! And as an added bonus, I got to follow Patton Oswalt’s series of tweets last night describing a crazy hotel guest in Irvine. God bless the internet.

Reward time!


Neither Here Nor There

Cover of "Can't Hardly Wait"

Cover of Can't Hardly Wait

A little something for the end of your lunch hour, perhaps?

Lonestar Canceled – Oops. Maybe I should have followed through on my promise to watch this show Monday night. I did not – I watched The Event instead – and look what happened: a well-liked drama got the axe and I spent an hour liking Jason Ritter less and less. What happened, THR?:

From the beginning critics wondered if “Lone Star” could draw a broadcast-sized audience. The show best resembled the sort of nuanced character-driven dramas seen on basic cable networks like FX and AMC [Ed. note: this would explain my loving most shows on both these networks]. But Fox expressed high confidence, with entertainment president Kevin Reilly telling critics the only reason shows like “Mad Men” pull such low numbers is because they’re not on his network.

“The only reason those shows aren’t watched by more people is they’re not on Fox,” Reilly said. “The [basic cable networks] don’t have this [promotional] machine.

What? Mad Men would’ve been canceled if it was on Fox, and I saw a few ads for Lonestar but had no idea what the hell it was about until the day it debuted. Do you smell that? Smells like a job opening. Or maybe the promotional machine needs oil.

Rachel Bilson! – She’s been cast in a new show that sounds suspiciously like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s old show, which was terrible. I saw it – just trust me. (I swear I thought I was watching Can’t Hardly Wait every time I accidentally watched Ghost Whisperer.) I just wanted to post pictures of Rachel Bilson, OK? OK.

Red Sox Officially Done – That tiny, almost imperceptible whimper you heard last night was the Red Sox season finally dying. Thanks for gutting it out, roster with a lot of names I don’t recognize. I don’t know about you, but it’s time for me to become a Twins fan for the playoffs.

George Lucas wants more moneyReally? Will someone please stop this guy… he’s embarrassing himself.

T.O.P.’s Weekend Plans: 9/24-26

The Offending Party doesn’t have any plans this weekend that don’t involve men in spandex pants playing around with an oblong ball made from the skin of a pig, and the statistics they will accumulate. Probably order a pizza or something… maybe Chinese, just to mix it up. Who knows? Anything could happen. Here are some of those foosball games, and plenty of other options.

See a Movie

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps – A good cast and a sequel to a good movie. But… I think the word I’m looking for is “tthhbbt.” If you want to see a sequel to the original, rent Boiler Room. On the other hand, this little tidbit piqued my interest in a train-wreck sort of way (Vulture via Filmdrunk):

At the premiere of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps at the Ziegfeld Theatre last night, Shia LaBeouf shared with reporters the following delightful anecdote on working with director Oliver Stone: “We’re in the Adirondacks, and Josh Brolin and I are shooting this bike scene. And at one point I say to Josh a line — ‘You should look at yourself in the mirror first and see yourself. It might scare you,'” remembered LaBeouf. “I looked at the line for a couple of months and thought I’d go to Oliver and say, ‘You look at the mirror and look at yourself. It’s sort of repetitive. Why don’t we just cut one of those? Why don’t I say, Look at yourself. It might scare you.’ This is Oliver verbatim. He looks at me and goes, ‘I like mirror. I wrote Scarface. Go fuck yourself.'”

Fan. Tas. Tic.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole – I’m not even going to check to see if I spelled that correctly. I don’t know what to make of this movie. Zack Snyder directed it, and his last two movies were Watchmen and 300. But it’s animated, in 3D and depicts warrior owls. I have an image of parents of 7-12 year-olds all over the country staring at this poster in the lobby of the theater, shaking their heads and muttering “what?”

Enter the Void – You won’t be seeing this movie this weekend unless you’re in NYC, but I wanted you to be aware of it. I get a strong Trainspotting vibe from the trailer – that’s a good thing:

Read a Book

Honestly, any book. Except any member of the Twilight series.

Watch Football

Saturday – Texas should make quick work out of destroying the UCLA Bruins; Notre Dame is probably going to be 1-3 after Stanford gets done with the Irish; #1 Alabama v. #10 Arkansas looks watchable; and at 8:00 PM – BLUE TURF!

Sunday – I’ll be a little disappointed if the Pats don’t score at least 40 points against the Bills; two teams I hate play each other, and because both can’t lose I guess I’ll root for the Dolphins; and Texas will be atwitter watching the Cowboys and Texans play in Houston. The best case scenario is a high-scoring game that Dallas loses – my FFB team needs Romo to throw for 3 and 350, but to anyone not named Miles Austin.

Look at Puppies

Gimme this dog! I WANT HIM SO BAD!

Check back next week when The Offending Party delves into the hot, sexy world of illegal immigration, makes fun of people who like The Big Bang Theory but not Community, suggests some bands you should maybe check out (you know, if you have the time or whatever) and discusses the pros and cons of chaining Perez Hilton to a wall in a room filled with starving, rabid coyotes (SPOILER – there are no cons).

“Schuck On It, Trebek”

Drew Barrymore and Corey Feldman at the 61st A...

Image via Wikipedia

The Offending Party will be AFK for the rest of the workday, so here are some links, some videos and some bullet-points to distract you from whatever you should be doing.

  • Stephen Root has been cast in a couple of movies: Everybody Loves Whales and Red State. The former stars Drew Barrymore (pictured with Corey Feldman at the 1989 Academy Awards, because I can), Kristen Bell and John Krasinski; the latter is a horror movie from Kevin Smith. Wait, what? *rereads article* Huh, that’s not a typo – Kevin Smith is doing a horror movie. Both sound terrible, by the way, but I now have the excuse I was looking for to post this:
  • Conan O’Brien’s new, eponymous show on TBS is set to debut November 8, at 11:00 PM EST. Best of luck, Coco, but if I’m watching TV at 11:00 PM during a weeknight, I’m still picking Stewart and Colbert over you.
  • And finally:

The Offending Party Likes: “RED”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a TV show, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

If you watched any football on Sunday, you saw ads for RED, starring Bruce Willis, God, The Queen, Hot Brunette from Weeds and John Malkovich. Let’s do the math:

Bruce Willis in Die Hard mode + Helen Mirren armed + (explosions x comedy) x MLPguy who directed Flightplan = 77. (Any result > 70 is a recommendation.)

77. Pretty good for a completely arbitrary number. I’ll also overlook what Schwentke did to The Time Traveller’s Wife. But if he ruins this one too, he goes on the Offended List forever.

TV and Movies; Movies and TV

The Walking Dead

Image via Wikipedia

I assume some of you watch some television from time to time, perhaps even television programming shown by the major broadcast networks (look, someone’s watching Two and a Half Men – ‘fess up). So it stands to reason some of you are, dare I say it, excited that a whole bevy of brand-new shows begin to debut tonight, on through next week. As a courtesy to you fans o’ TV, The Offending Party has compiled all the new shows debuting over the next two weeks that look worthy of your time, your energy and perhaps even your loyalty:

  • Nope.
  • Nuffin’.
  • Absolutamente nada.
  • <Russian for “Not this year – sorry”>

Yup, that’s all of them. Solid list. Stellar, even.

Now that I’ve got the jackass out of my system, here are three new shows that just might be watchable for an entire season:

  1. Terriers (Wednesdays, 10:00 PM EST, FX; Hulu): The entire show will sink or swim based on Donal Logue’s portrayal of Hank Dolworth. If Logue continues to play Hank with the same mix of wise-ass, anger and heart-break as he does in the first two episodes, FX may have themselves another winner.
  2. The Event (Mondays, 9:00 PM EST, NBC; Hulu): “The next Lost.” Let’s hope not. Let’s hope, instead, that The Event is a little more coherent, is a little less Matthew Fox-y and inspires fans to be a lot less f*cking nuts.
  3. The Walking Dead (series premiere Sunday, October 31, 10:00 PM EST, AMC): The simple fact that this show is on AMC should be enough for you to tune in. The Offending Party missed out on the Mad Men and Breaking Bad love-fests (heal me, Netflix) but really likes Rubicon and assumes the fourth original series on AMC will be at least as good as the first three. Trailer below.

The Town won the weekend box office cage match with $23.8 million; Easy A was the runner-up with $17.7 million. Both received excellent notices and look poised to turn a profit. The lesson intelligent people would learn here? If you make moderately budgeted films with smart scripts and talented actors, you win. The lesson Hollywood will learn? Next fall or in early 2012 you will see clones of these two movies that are dumber and more expensive, both starring Ashton Kutcher. You watch.

Lazy Man’s Blog Post

It’s 5:00 PM EST as I begin writing – I hope none of you are still at work. But if you are, waste a couple of minutes perusing this lazy post full of bullet points and links:

  • I wrote about The Town yesterday and gave it my soon-to-be-coveted seal of approval. I am not alone – it’s at 93% fresh on RT. That’s pretty damn impressive. Go see it.
  • Joe Torre won’t be back as the manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Don Mattingly will almost surely take his place. I hate the Yankees, but neither of those men bother me at all. I still have a Mattingly baseball card somewhere…
  • This is local Raleigh news, but still worth taking a look at if only to make sure you don’t raise children like these.
  • For some unknown reason, Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to be back on television. And it sounds every bit as bad as you imagined.

Now what would an end-of-the-week post from The Offending Party be without some baby animal cuteness? Just like all the others, but less interesting.

I apologize, but even baby piggies remind me of delicious bacon.


Sorry for the inactivity yesterday – what can I say? I’m lazy, and I didn’t feel like writing/searching for puppy photos/doing anything even vaguely constructive. It’s not like I get paid to do this…


There are a few promising movies coming out tomorrow (in the U.S. – sorry Yael!) that look, at the very least, more interesting than the football game the Raleigh area will be shown at 4 PM (oh, almost literally the rest of the country, how I envy you):

  • Easy A – Emma Stone and the son from Cougar Town star in some sort of high school sex comedy based loosely on Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter. Rotten Tomatoes has it sitting at 83% fresh as of Friday morning – not too shabby. Also, Emma Stone = cute.
  • The Town – Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner and the hot blond from Gossip Girl star in Affleck’s second directorial effort. It’s set in Boston – I know, you’re shocked. However, Renner was fantastic in The Hurt Locker, Gone Baby Gone (Affleck’s directorial debut) was a great movie, Blake Lively is hot, and RT has it at 92% fresh (as of Friday morning). All in all, I can think of far worse ways to spend $10.
  • Catfish – Probably not playing in your area, but I saw the trailer about a month ago and it looks very intriguing. Listed as a documentary, my impression is the filmmakers ended up with a very different movie than the one they intended to make:
  • Devil – “From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.” If that phrase doesn’t make you want to run screaming in the opposite direction, you might be reading the wrong blog.


  • The cast of CBS’ The Big Bang Theory received a hefty pay raise this week. Although, I’m not entirely sure why – this show is painfully unfunny. Don’t believe me? Try watching it without the ubiquitous laugh-track to prompt you:
  • You want funny? Modern Family debuts next Wednesday at 9:00 PM on ABC and Community debuts next Thursday at 8:00 PM on NBC. The Offending Party is partial to the latter, but agrees the former is quite funny, as well. Also, hot girls.
  • Oprah, in her “farewell season” (thank Jebus), has apparently decided to revive her Book Club. Her selection? None other than Mr. Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom. You can read my take on his excellent novel here. You can read his take on the first time Oprah tried to do this in his non-fiction book How to be Alone.

That’s all for now, sports fans. Enjoy your Thursday afternoon – I’ll be back later today with… whatever pops into my head between now and then.

Will Ferrell to Star in… What?

A little movie news on this lovely Tuesday evening, brought to you via The Hollywood Reporter:

Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, who worked together in “Y tu mama tambien,” are joining Will Ferrell in “Casa de mi padre,” the Spanish-language comedy being directed by Matt Piedmont.

I’m sorry. Did I read that correctly? Will Ferrell is starring in a Spanish language comedy? With two fairly well-respected Spanish actors? Oh, man, this is a Funny or Die video, isn’t it. You had me going there for a second…

The “Padre” story is being kept under wraps, but it will be told in an overly dramatic telenovela style and feature English subtitles. Garcia Bernal plays a family friend; Luna is Ferrell’s brother.

Good lord, this sounds… awful? Funny? Unlikely? That’s it, unlikely. As in, it is unlikely I will ever waste 100 minutes watching this movie. And on what planet could these two ever be brothers?


Also via The Hollywood Reporter: “Screen Media nabs the rights to ‘White Lion’.”

YES! I’ve been waiting for a White Lion bio-pic for years! When the children cry, let them know we tried! *holds lighter in air, tosses flowing blond locks*

Screen Media has acquired North American rights to Michael Swan’s “White Lion,” which feature more than 30 lions trained by “lion whisperer” Kevin Richardson, who also served as producer.

Dammit. Now what am I supposed to do with this:

Sweet Baby Jane, that's some awesome hair.