The Offending Party Likes: “Your Highness”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

NSFW – maybe I should have put this warning above the video. Whatever.

Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down) and David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) are acquired tastes, but if you’ve acquired said tastes, this is right up your alley. Bonus: Natalie Portman’s butt. I’m not sure it’s humanly possible to do a better job selling this movie than those three words. Well, the song from Pineapple‘s trailer could have helped…

M.I.A. makes everything better (1:14 or so).

P.S. The Offending Party is on the Twitter. Follow if you like but I really just retweet things I find funny, like this one: “Tom Brady:Hair::Harrison Ford:Earring.” I love Baby Goat, but the truth stings sometimes. I also love analogies.

P.P.S.

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Young, Springsteen and Willow Smith

I’m recycling a joke here, but Jimmy Fallon doing Neil Young is the only time Fallon doesn’t break character and end up a giggling mess in a comedy sketch. And what the deuce is on Springsteen’s face? Does Late Night with Jimmy Fallon not have a makeup staff? Regardless, this is funny.

The Offending Party Likes: “Better Than Nothing”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

The title of this track is fitting, as I was looking for Trynin’s superior song, “Knock Me Down.” So, this is… say it with me: better than nothing. Also: I don’t understand how Jen didn’t become a lot more popular than she did. This is from a pretty damn good album and came out in 1995, right in the sweet spot of grunge’s target, if you will. Oh well, that’s life.

The Offending Party Likes: “Florida”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

  1. “It was always worth it, that’s the part I seem to hide.”
  2. I wish this was actually the video for this song.
  3. In honor of all the awesome ridiculous-ness that comes from Florida, and for Natalie. Hi!

The Offending Party Likes: “Dig for Fire”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

This is my favorite song by one of the five best American bands to ever record an album. If you disagree, I will find you and punch you in a sensitive area. Possibly the kidney.

Monday Afternoon Foosball: 11/1

Location of Italy

Image via Wikipedia

Daddy’s back! Did you miss me? I know I said I was just going to the corner store for some milk and cigarettes, but that store was out of both and I had to go to Italy to get the milk and then I had to be hospitalized for missing you too much. Sorry! Who wants souvenirs?!

Football

Let’s see: Texas lost. Again. Notre Dame lost a football game to Tulsa, their starting QB for the rest of the season to some injury (I didn’t actually watch the game), and a videographer to a gust of wind. Awesome week in South Bend – the Brian Kelly Era is off to a bangin’ start. Michigan State and Missouri both lost their first game of the season. Did I mention Texas is 4-4 and lost to Baylor? WTF?

Sunday was a better day for football as the Patriots almost literally decapitated Brett “Penis” Favre on their way to a 28-18 victory, and the Jets managed to score no points against the Packers, losing 9-0. All of those words, in that order, make me happy.

And what the hell are the Vikings and Brad Childress thinking? To my readers in Minnesota (I have readers there, right?): the head coach of the Vikings is not right in the head. Here’s to Moss re-signing with the Pats and then forging a letter from Belichick to Childress that says “Thanks for the 3rd round pick, sucka!” Aside – thinking of Minnesota reminds me of a favorite joke: Why do all the trees in Minnesota bend north? Because Iowa blows.

Movies

Tthhhbbbtt! Saw 3D won the Halloween box office with $22.5 million; Paranormal Activity 2 was second with $16.5 million. Both “films” can take a long walk on a short pier. Someone wake me up when the Oscar movies start coming out – I’ll be in the den napping.

Puppies, an Attractive Woman, a Funny Link and a Good Song

In that order:

In honor of the day after Halloween.

If you don’t like that song, there’s not much hope for you. Sorry.

The Offending Party Likes: “Help, I’m Alive”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a song, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

I heart Emily Haines. Also: this song makes me think about having a heart attack. But in a good way. If that’s possible. Which it is, because I do.

The Offending Party Likes: “Kids”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a TV show, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

Ha, I bet you thought I was talking about actual children, or maybe even young goats. Nope – I like goats just fine, but your demon spawn annoy me after about 7 minutes.

The Offending Party Likes: “Percussion Gun”

Every so often I hope to throw a post together where I grant something – a TV show, a movie, a book, a lingerie model, a breed of dog, whatever – The Offending Party’s (soon-to-be-coveted) Seal of Approval. Today:

I wish I could recommend the entire album this song is on – I cannot. But this is a great track. Enjoy.

Monday Evening Football – 10/18

Football

I learned a valuable lesson this weekend: if I pick against the Longhorns and say silly things like this, they will win. Therefore – Texas is going to lose every single game they play from here on out. Actually, they will be embarrassed by every team they play for the rest of the season.

In other college football news, Boise State was done in by their weak schedule and are ranked #3 in the inaugural BCS standings, behind Oklahoma and Oregon. Notre Dame beat Western Michigan, as expected. Michigan State remained undefeated. And N.C. State went to little ol’ Greenville, NC and then lost to ECU in overtime, 33-27. As a friend of mine said: “typical State football.”

The Patriots escaped from Foxborough with a 23-20 OT win against the arguably better team, the Ravens. All hail Zoltan Mesko and his super-human leg! Stupid Dallas managed to lose another game and they sit all by themselves in the cellar of the NFC East. I don’t feel one ounce of sorry for them – Wade Phillips is about as good an NFL coach as my 4 1/2 year-old nephew would be. Unfortunately the Jets won. If they’re still leading the AFC East by the middle of the season, Rex Ryan goes on the Offended List as a matter of principle.

Movies

Jackass 3D made $50.3 million over the weekend, which is the best October opening for any movie, ever. I was going to say something snotty and pretentious about this, but then I read this:

Stupid people tend to forget that film didn’t start as a narrative medium.  The first things people saw in theaters weren’t stories, it was “hey look, a big train coming at your face!”  That is to say, it was a spectacle. So if you’re one of those people who can look at a guy willing to get run over by a buffalo for your amusement with a frown on your face and your arms folded, it doesn’t make you some great defender of a grand tradition, it just makes you an *sshole (via Filmdrunk)

A good point, but I’m so good at being an asshole I still want to hate Jackass 3D and what its box office total says about movie-watchers: we’re stupid and easily distracted, like a baby playing with a set of keys. I just don’t think this film’s success bodes well for film in general going forward. Hollywood-types are as dumb as concrete blocks – they’ll see the success of Jackass 3D and copy it, possibly even frame-by-frame, meaning the clones of this movie should be in theaters around this time next year. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

OK, fine, I’ll get off my soapbox. RED made a respectable $21.7 million – I did not see it but plan to this week. The only other film to debut in the top 20 was something called N-Secure and it made $1.16 million. I don’t know what that is and I’m too lazy to look it up. Although Tempestt Bledsoe is in it, so the film’s got that going for it…

Miscellaneous

I will maul whoever put this pink collar on me.

  • The Onion A.V. Club has an excellent interview with the producer/show-runner from Rubicon. I thought the series felt different after the first 4 or 5 episodes – having the guy who created the show leave will do that.
  • This will make you laugh – I promise (via Ebert):